Today it hit me again out of the blue. I think I am fine – really I do and then I stand in the kitchen as tears start pouring down my face again. Clearly, being involved in parrot training or writing parrot books does not teach you one thing about handling grief.

It appears I am fine only as long as I do not think of Mr. Darcy, nothing reminds me of him, like a forgotten syringe at the back of the counter top, or a jar of vitamin powder that I forgot to hide.

In all this misery Lailah has been such a blessing distracting me with her antics. Her progress has made such a huge leap that it cannot be explained merely by a bit more time spent with her. It seems as if she decided to reach out to me and help. And her distractions work. Most of the time.

Just look at this silly picture of her. She was lovingly grooming my hair. It was so adorable that I wanted to take a photo. In the moment that the flash went of she grabbed her beak as if to say: “Do you think my beak’s too big?” How can I help smiling at this. Perhaps we should do some parrot training for camera posing. 🙂